I’ve noticed lately when you tell people your baby is almost one year old, their first instinct is to ask you if and when there will be another baby. Like, um, excuse me?! Is this any of your business? I’m talking total strangers here, not your close family or best friends. Even then, I don’t like talking about it. So short answer: Mostly likely, yes. Who knows when. I’ll let you know when it happens.
Naturally, of course, if you are thinking about having more kids, you might be thinking about it around this time. I know I have been thinking about it.
I know I want another baby. And my husband wants another baby. But the thought of being pregnant again, makes me shudder. I did not like being pregnant. I actually hated it. And I don’t really feel bad about saying that. I understand there are many women who are unable to get pregnant or have successful pregnancies and you must know that I do not take for granted my ability to bear children. My daughter is truly a gift and as much as I disliked being pregnant I am eternally grateful for the experience because it brought me her.
When I was pregnant and I told people I couldn’t wait for it to be over, people always did this sympathetic “Ooh”. And then would proceed to tell me how wonderful pregnancy was for them and how it was a magical time and blah blah blah. And I could feel them judging me for not “embracing” this “magical” time. I felt really guilty a lot of times while I was pregnant because I thought I was supposed to be “enjoying” it.
I agree that pregnancy is amazing. The fact that a woman’s body can grow a whole new life is amazing. The excitement about a new baby is very exciting. But physically being pregnant was not all that great for me.
I know everyone has a different experience. My sister-in-law was pregnant at the same time that I was and we had totally different experiences.
I had a lot of morning (and noon and night) sickness. The. Entire. Time. I could hardly eat anything my entire pregnancy. I was getting sick up until 35 weeks and I delivered at 37. In the first couple months, I lost about 20 lbs because I was so sick. So by the time I delivered I had only gained 5-10lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight. It was very stressful worrying about my diet the whole time.
Along with being so uncomfortable all of the time, trying to find clothes that fit, not being able to walk up a flight of stairs without gasping for air, not being able to sleep and waking up 100 times to pee, peeing your pants if you sneeze, cough, or laugh too hard, it is really not something I am looking forward to. OMG. And how could I forget the heartburn!? Or the pregnancy induced carpal tunnel syndrome (I didn’t even know that was a thing) where my bones physically hurt so bad I couldn’t even wear my wedding rings.
I can tell you how I forgot. Pregnancy Amnesia. You know, you remember all the magical stuff and forget the worst. Or maybe just completely block it out. I’m convinced this is a thing because why else would people keep having babies!? I kid, I kid. But really, it’s true! It’s the same thing with labor. I really think this had a lot to do with all of the “magical” and “wonderful” pregnancy experiences I was told over and over again.
People forget because in the end, you get to take this sweet baby home and you have a whole new world with new challenges and you simply forget, especially over time, all of the not so great parts, because in the end it is all worth it.
We are going to have another baby and maybe, this time, it will be different. But if I don’t enjoy this next pregnancy either, I will not feel bad about it for one second and you shouldn’t either. Your body endures a lot during pregnancy and it’s okay not to enjoy every second. It’s temporary pain to gain a lifetime of love.